Hit Parade: Meghan Trainor - "All About That Bass"

There are a million songs about how women should not be obsessed about their looks and to have self-esteem and they are all probably better than this one.
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Taylor Swift's time back atop the Billboard Hot 100 was a bit short-lived. I think. Maybe it was atop the charts for years. Time seems to lose all meaning when it comes to the pop charts, and Swift's omnipresence doesn't help that. Now, the number one song in this great nation of ours is some thing called "All About That Bass" by somebody named Meghan Trainor. I do not know who this is. I did go to high school with, like, seven people with different variations on the name "Megan." That doesn't seem relevant, but it's all I've got.

Jesus Christ. While it's kind of funny that this song replaced a Swift song atop the charts, for reasons I shall get into shortly, this song is abjectly obnoxious. I was no fan of "Shake It Off," but this "All About That Bass" business makes that sound like a cut off Darkness on the Edge of Town or something. It's horrendous from the word go.

Which is almost impressive, because, to a degree, this is a song I can get behind. The song is, sort of, about healthy body image stuff and telling women not to worry about being too skinny or whatever. However, in truth, it's really about having a sweet ass that all the dudes are into, and also about taking shots at skinny women. Hey dudes, this doesn't have to be a war. Can't we all just get along?

Anyway, the lyrics are supremely dumb and lazy and cheesy. Stupid shit about her momma telling her dudes like a little junk in the trunk to squeeze at night or whatever. I know I sound dismissive, that's only because I want to dismiss this song entirely. Also, the hook, which also starts the song, informs us Trainor is "All about that bass, bout that bass, no treble," which makes me wonder whether or not treble is the skinny musical clef. I don't care. This song can't make me care about anything.

Musically, the song has a vaguely Amy Winehouse vibe to it, although Trainor doesn't have one-eighth the voice Winehouse did. What I mean is that the song has a tinge of an old school soul and pop vibe. Also, it doesn't really have a lot of bass. Plenty of treble, though. There are a million songs about how women should not be obsessed about their looks and to have self-esteem. They are all probably better than this one.