Judging American Idol: Countdown From 11 (Again)

Two contestants were eliminated after Elton John night...
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Tonight two contestants will say goodbye, ending their run at being this season’s champion. If I was a betting girl, I’d guess there will be zero surprises tonight.

There I go being wrong again- Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina open the show with a fantastic surprise of a duet, doing Randy Travis’ “I Told You So.” These two are simply adorable and insanely talented for being barely 16 and 17 years old, respectively.

No sooner did the song end than Ryan Seacrest calls them down to center stage and after reviewing their critiques from the night before, we learn they are both safe.

Next we watch another corny Ford commercial, then James Durbin shows us a heavy-looking WWE champion’s belt with “Crazy James” engraved on it. Then another surprising highlight is unleashed on us as Jacob Lusk and Naima Adedapo are called down to cover Ashford and Simpson’s “Solid As A Rock and it was a fun and pleasant surprise. Ryan tells them to stay put and reveals that Naima is in the bottom, with Jacob being safe to cry and warble for another week.

After the commercial break we are assaulted by former American Idol winner, Fantasia Barrino’s tight-ass sequined dress, bad wig, and a voice that always shoots straight up my spine like rusty razorblades.

Haley Reinhart, Thia Megia, and Pia Toscano give us an even crappier version of an already mediocre song: Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” It was a hot, pitchy mess and made my son’s eye twitch, which sums it up perfectly. Ryan tells the ladies to stay put and reveals Thia to be in the bottom, with Haley and Pia being safe for another week.

Now we get to watch a clip of Lauren bust ass down some stairs, Jacob get a pedicure, the contestants rehearsing with Marc Anthony again and Casey Abrams breaking down with his Doctor after Thursday’s results show.

Apparently Casey, James, Paul and Stefano have some little band together and gave us a performance that reminded me of a low rent version of the Partridge Family. When they’re done Ryan tells us that Casey got some crazy, ridiculous amount of votes and is safe, as is James. Stefano and Paul are left wondering who is in the bottom, and I’m sure once again Stefano feels certain it’s him. But, it was Paul McDonald and that irritates me quite a bit. Not because it should have been Stefano but because it should not have been Paul.

Jaime Foxx and Will.i.am have a group called Hot Wings and they do a Caribbean-influenced performance from the movie Rio that I’m sure was making Naima twitch with envy in her uncomfortable bottom three stool.

After the final commercial break we learn that Paul is safe, so Thia Megia and Naima Adedapo are going home and I look forward to seeing what Naima brings to us in the future. Did America get it right this week? I say they got it half right but, honestly I’m happily surprised Naima made it this far so I won’t complain. Much.