Judging American Idol: Long Time Coming

Tonight's elimination has been in the works for awhile now...
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American Idol Season 10

It doesn’t always feel good to get what you want, that’s a life lesson from my Mom that rang a little true at the conclusion of tonight’s American Idol results show. Lauren, Haley, Jacob and Stefano kick off the evening with a less-dreadful-than-most mini group performance of “Hey Soul Sister." It was predictably awkward, off-key, with train wreck potential and I pretty much loved it.

After the commercial break, Ryan tries to pull at the ole heartstrings by billing their newest Ford commercial as “one of their last performances together as a group…aw.” Then we are forced to watch Scotty, Casey, and James butcher “Viva La Vida.” It wasn’t as bad as their counterpart’s performance but was pretty ridiculous all the same and replete with bad choreography. Poor Scotty, is all I can say.

Lights dim and after some silly banter- Ryan has Casey Abrams and Jacob Lusk stand up where they were seated and Ryan asks Jacob about some boring technical glitch that may or may not have contributed to his less-than-Luther-like performance and then reveals Jacob to be in the bottom three… again.

David Cook comes on to sing his newest single from his second album and I’m still bitter over his beating David Archuleta on their season so I only pay attention for about 30 seconds and I’m grossed out by the sight of his stubby, sausage legs stuffed into his black jeans (have I ever mentioned how much I detest black jeans?) and busy myself with something infinitely more interesting, like twirling my hair.

We see footage of the gang at a Dodgers game and meeting Tommy Lasorda before we learn which two contestants complete our bottom three. Scotty was pretty geeked to meet Lasorda and kept telling the others how important that was. Cute.

Ryan calls Lauren Alaina, James Durbin, and Stefano Langone down to learn their fate, and in a not shocking to anyone move, Stefano heads to the stool next to Jacob; Lauren and James are safe. Scotty McCreery and Haley Reinhart are called down and Ryan says, “Scotty… after a nationwide vote…wow (dramatic pause)…you’re safe.” Oh Ryan, you’re such a trickster! Haley goes and takes her place next to Stefano and Jacob but is only there for .02 seconds when Ryan walks over and tells Haley to follow him…walks across the stage with her following begging “What? What!” he whispers to her, “You’re safe.” Gag me with a spoon.

Katy Perry performs with Kanye West and we learn three things: she’s a terrible live singer, she wishes she was Lady Gaga, and Kanye looked like a tool in his Yeti fur vest.

Stefano LangoneAfter the final break and some pointless chit-chat, we learn that Stefano Langone is finally going home. I’ve been calling for his boring head for weeks and yet I got so emotional over this elimination! Somebody slap me! I think because his goodbye package reminded us he was not only a wild card contestant to even make it into the Top 13 but, had survived a horrific, near-fatal accident. Funny enough, we saw more charm and spark in his clips and in the swan song performance of “Lately” than I’ve seen from him since Hollywood Week. Enough of that sappy crap… now that we’re free of the male Pia, Jacob better be next, followed by Haley.

Next week the six remaining idol finalists will tackle songs by Carole King, look for my picks and predictions to be up this weekend! What did you think: was it time for Stefano to go or was he hitting his stride? Did America get it right?